Category: Financial

Too White Teeth

Of course whitening teeth has been a cosmetic fad for several years now. But have you noticed that some people have gone way too far with whitening their teeth? They are practically glowing in the dark bright. I don’t find that attractive at all – it is actually very distracting to see someone on TV or in the movies with teeth so bright you need shades.

My dentist suggested a whitening but I turned him down. I think he just wanted to hit me up for some extra money and I am already in debt for the root canal and crown that he did for me. I can’t imagine paying more money for my teeth any time soon. It just costs to fucking much to go to the dentist anymore.

One of the whitening toothpaste commercials does have a good point. Their slogan is, “if you are not whitening – you are yellowing.” Well, I hate to admit it, but that’s so true. I looked in the mirror and noticed that my teeth are looking yellow and that maybe I should find a way to get them a little more white. I guess next time I see my dentist I should ask him the price of the whitening in his office and see if I can negotiate a way to get it done.

When Pigs Fly

Everyone has heard the old saying, “When pigs fly.” That’s the punch line on the new GEICO commercial but the weird thing is that I’ve watched that commercial 5 or 6 times and the actress says the punch line so softly that I can’t hear what she is saying. The scene is a pig sitting on an airplane using his PDA to do something when the flight attendants come by and tells him to shut it off. They talk for a couple minutes about the GEICO app and then one of them turns away and says, “I’ll believe that when pigs fly.” As she walks away, the pig says, “Did she really just say that?” and a fellow passenger just shrugs.

It’s cute the first couple of times you see it, but I’m sick of it by now and don’t like the way the flight attendant talks so low that I can’t her it. All I see is a smirking woman sashaying away from the pig. It’s not really funny. And it doesn’t make me want to call GEICO to buy insurance from them, either.

My Bank is So Screwed Up

Money is tight and maybe its just me, but I always thought that the fucking banks are supposed to take money and put it in an account for you – its still YOUR fucking money, even though they are keeping it safe for you. Right?

So, I put my paycheck in the bank last week and I went to an ATM to get some gas money and the ATM wouldn’t give me any fucking money! I’m like, what the fuck?

So I go park the car and walk inside the bank and stand in line forever and when I finally get up to the teller I find out that the bank has charged my account some fees and there’s no money left in my account. So I just got paid and now I’m broke.

But then I ask what the fees are for and they tell me and it makes no sense. Like, when was I notified of all these fees? And they play it off and try to fuck me over about it. But it’s not making sense to me and I ask to see it on paper. Well, after all that bullshit it turns out that it was the bank’s mistake. Those fees were never supposed to come out of my account at all. So I’m like, give me my fucking money – I’m outta here.

I closed that fucking account and have my cash money in hand. When I get my next paycheck I’ll go open a new account at some other bank. I’m too pissed off to deal with any more bank shit today.

Too Fucking Hot to Work

Last night I had to work late. I didn’t expect it, but it was a minor crisis and I don’t mind pitching in. A bunch of us had to stay late and go through tons of papers and old files. I don’t want to say why, but let’s just say that it was really important to find those files.

So the boss ordered pizza for everyone so we didn’t have to leave the building and go get something to eat. That was nice – I don’t eat much pizza but I was hungry and getting fucking tired and wanted to get it done so we could go the fuck home.

So here we are after 8:00 and we are still humping out way through all these boxes of papers and it starts getting hot in the office. I mean, it is summer and all, but we are in a high rise office building with air conditioning. Its not supposed to get hot in there.

So, we all started noticing how hot it was getting and then someone realized that the A/C was not working. So, who are you going to call at 8:00 at night about the A/c? Not our landlord, that’s for damn sure. We flipped switches on and off and adjusted the thermostat by poking a coat hanger wire through the plastic cage they have the A/C control locked up behind. But still nothing. So after a half hour of that bull shit I was getting sweaty and gave up.

I left and the boss was a little mad but I can’t be all sweaty and staying to work until midnight or anything – I was just being nice and helping out. It’s not like I get paid overtime money or anything because I’m on salary and it wasn’t even my job to deal with these papers. I just hope the fucking air conditioning is working today.

Still Beat the Deadline

This morning I drove to the 24 hour post office and dropped off my tax return. There were dozens of people there doing the same thing. I know we have extra days this year to file the forms, but I didn’t see any sense in waiting until the very last minute. So I took care of it this morning and now I don’t have to worry about it anymore.

WordPress Themes